Yesterday we walked another 4.23 miles. It wasn't nearly as hot as it has been, which made walking that much more enjoyable but my foot has been hurting really bad. It's now starting to have a few red spots on it and maybe a bit of bruising. I will post pictures later. I must document the pain.
We had a few "run ins" with some very aggressive people on the trail yesterday. I was a bit flustered with how they treated me.
I don't have the best walking clothes. Most people on the trail have actual "running" clothes or real synthetic fiber clothes. I just have an old shirt and some old swim trunks we had lying around. I simply can't afford to go out and buy clothes just for a walk. The clothes seem less important and I'm not sure why they would matter, but I feel as if I am being judged on my appearance. Maybe I am wrong about this?
When we first started out, a woman passed us (as it happens every day. We are the SLOWEST walkers on the trail) and she wanted to know if lu lu was a boy or a girl. He's wearing a baseball onesie, blue and red and stripped with his green hat. The way she asked however wasn't "oh what a cute baby, what is it's gender?" it was more like "what the heck is that baby wearing, is it a boy or a girl?" So I politely answer it is a boy. She tells me he handles drinking from a bottle well and that she is surprised. Then she walks away. Her tone was miserable. It wasn't friendly at all. I felt weird. I wondered if she would have spoken to any of the other hundreds of mothers on the trail, in that tone or if it was just me?
Later down on the trail, another older woman approached me, while I was walking with headphones on my ears and she stopped me to tell me that my stroller was inadequate. Right as she was walking by me we hit a rocky patch on the path. It's nature, so there is going to be rocks, stumps, dirt, bridges, the whole nine yards on the path. I can't help this, it is our 4.23 mile course. It's not a pavement course, it's a course that follows a lake and allows us to walk around the lake and have beautiful views. As she is walking by and we are headed over bumpy rocks on the path, lu lu wakes up from the little nap he was taking in the stroller. The woman sees this and decides to tell me about it by saying "miss, do you know that your son just woke up because your stroller is inadequate?" No. my son woke up because we hit rocks. Sure, lots of parents have the "bob" stroller. Sure that has a shock system which allows babies to rest in their strollers without feeling bumps. I don't have that stroller. Lucas feels the bumps and wakes up. He'll fall back asleep! I said "thank you." smiled politely and walked on. I have the stroller that was given to us as a gift. It is more than we could ever afford, regardless of the shock-less value of the stroller, we would never have the funds to be able to afford anything like the stroller we received! I thought it was odd, strange and rude of this woman to remark on my stroller.
When we approached the turning point, where we cross the bridge and start heading back for the last two miles around the lake, we are stopped yet again. This time, by a more aggressive older lady. At this point, my mp3 player has died from lack of battery charge so I simply have the head phones still in my ears with no music playing. I can hear the world perfectly.
We were walking earlier in the morning, to avoid the heat. The Sun rises from the East and sets in the West. There is not much I can do about the sun's path over the lake. It is how it rises and falls, it rises to the east of the lake and sets on the west of the lake. The trail I take goes completely around the lake. When we start off, I have two options. We can go left and circle around the lake or we can go right and circle around the lake.
Normally we head right. If we head right, the sun is coming up on the opposite side of the lake. There are more trees on the path I am taking if I start off headed to the right than the treeless left side of the lake. There are those patches of vast nothingness on the right side but for the most part, there is a lot of tree cover and shade.
I go this direction around the lake because of the shade and because of the small amounts of unavoidable sun light that will be in my son's eyes. If we headed LEFT first, the sun would be bursting down into his stroller the entire time because of the lack of trees shading the path. I feel that the small amounts of sunlight that does blind my child is less severe going right than it is going left.
This way, when we cross over the bridge and head back to our starting point and are on the left side of the lake, the sun is now overhead or to my backside so that the sun can not touch the inside of the stroller at all. For the last two miles, my son is free of the blazing sun's rays reaching his skin at all.
Yet this woman stops me on the path with my head phones on and tells me that my son is trying to sleep but is unable to because the sun is on his face and that I should consider a different route. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of how angry and fierce she looked as she spoke to me. It was scary and frightful.
I take a deep breathe. I try to explain to her that we walk 4.23 miles daily and that I carefully chose this path because of the sun's direction and the amount of tree coverage and shade availability on the path and considered both sides of the lake when I chose our path and that this was the best path for his comfort due to the sun that I had no control over but as I was telling her, she simply turned away and kept walking in disgust.
I was so sad in the heart.
At this point on our walk, as we were about to cross the bridge and travel where the sun would be at our backs and no longer in our faces, I felt defeated. I felt as if no matter what I decided to do as a parent, that I needed to accept the fact that I was going to always be judged by other people because of the clothes I wore or the stroller I had or what I dressed my son in. I realized that whatever I did, people would always feel the need to add their two cents or snicker or frown. I am not sure what they must be thinking deep within their souls or minds to feel that it is at all appropriate to approach me in the manner that they do.
I am positive howeer, that I will not quit this walk. I will not change my decisions on what to dress my beautiful son in, because I love the outfits I put on him. He looks adorable. I only wish that if people did not know his gender, if they would just continue to walk, quietly past me. I wish if people did not like the stroller that I am so appreciative that we have, that they would simply not say anything to me about it. That they would simply just pass us and hurry along on their own journeys. I wish that if they felt I was choosing the wrong path and my decisions as a parent were poorly affecting my child that they would simply just walk past me and realize they were judging me instead of helping me.
Yet we are walking to learn lessons. This just might be a larger lesson for myself to learn while we walk these miles. We have now successfully walked 50 miles and as we reached that milestone, I am confronted with other people's doubt and cynicism.
I am proud of my accomplishments with my son and we will forge on, with an increased sense of understanding and a larger heart than many and we will know that we are doing all that we can do with all that we have. And we will make it, one step at a time. And that is a lesson I am proud to teach my son.
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